I'm back

Hell yes.

Support the troops!

They want to take away a soldier's access to girlie mags? Really?

Oh, fuck you.

The goggles! They do nothing!

They say that there are things that once seen, can never be unseen, horrors so repugnant on a cosmic scale that they defy any and all rational description.

They are right.

So very, very right.

A hearty thank you to Warren Ellis for the links. And by thank you, I mean fuck you. Fuck you right in the brain-hole.

It Stings Slightly

Have you ever stumbled across something -- likely on the internet, but possibly in real life -- that so disturbed or disgusted you that it made you feel less human, as if part of your soul were whittled away?

When you work in the adult film industry for enough time, you come across things that will have that effect on you from time to time, but of course the more you see, the less things get to you. I used think that the last part of my soul died the day that I was required to enter "nasal cumshot¹" into a database as a keyword search term and film descriptor. Since then, things have made me blink twice or wince a bit -- virtual unicorn rape-and-impregnation machines, Mythbusters slashfic and attendant artwork, the everpresent specter of granny porn -- but until very recently nothing had given me that wrenching feeling deep down inside wherein I realized too late that somehow, against all odds, I actually managed to retain a little bit of humanity that was even now being torn from me like the wings from a screaming butterfly.

But that all changed a couple of days ago, when I first laid eyes upon Fuck my Gut Butt. Yes, that's right, Fuck my Gut Butt.

Now I know what you're thinking, because it's what I was thinking: "What the hell is a gut butt?" Well, if someone is sufficiently obese then their bellybutton must necessarily be buried deep, hidden between and beneath rolls and folds of warm, enticing belly fat and... and...

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Mikey Mongol learned that he still had a bit of soul left and lost it, all in a split-second of horrible psyche-searing epiphany.

¹HOW is that even remotely sexy? It's like... semen waterboarding. Not hot, people! Not hot!

I Vote Clown

Fark caught it before I did, but it's a question apt enough for me to repost: Jenna Jameson or Undead Clown?

Another One Bites The, Uh...

By now I'm sure you've heard that yet another Republican politician with an anti-gay voting record got caught in yet another extremely salacious gay sex scandal (complete with cross-dressing, porn shop hookups, &c. &c.). Here is the police report in PDF form.

What struck me: "Richard [the Republican politico] and ---- [his trick] ordered two bi-sexual pornography movies" on the hotel TV.

Dare we hope that one of them might have been The Bi Apple?

She Goes Down Like A (News) Anchor

A couple of folks have sent me this quiz, which tests one's ability to distinguish between pornstars and Fox News anchors. I don't know if it's very challenging to the population at large, but I found it really easy -- 10/10 in under 2 minutes.

2257 Rules Unconstitutional!

Holy crap! It was a split decision, but even the dissenting judge thinks that the regs are unconsitutional -- just not irredeemably so.

Wow. I didn't see this coming, at least not so soon.

A View From The Outside

Here's a fascinating Slate essay by jurist Tim Wu on the current state of US obscenity law. It's involved and detailed, but one of the points which I glean from it is that Wu believes that the current administration's crackdown on porn production has no legs. I don't know if I believe that, though I hope it's true, but agree or not, it's still a great read.

Of course, not ten minutes after I post that link, a news story about these scumbags getting hit with interstate transportation of obscene materials charges crosses my RSS feed. Wu's point still holds -- I just thought it was an odd coincidence.

Food for Porn

Food for Porn is a canned food drive run by a shop that sells porn. It trades, as you might expect, a canned good for a porn flick, and it's an awesome idea.

Also...

I'm going to venture a predicion: That Bree Olson girl is going to go far. She and Sasha Grey are the most exciting new performers of the last year or so.

It's The Little Things That Bother Me

Let us consider the title Backdoor to Buttsville for a moment. Now, even if we ignore the illogic of there being a back door for an entire town, there's still this to chew on: If you're going to Buttsville, doesn't it logically follow that you will be taking the back door? Considering that, isn't the title awfully redundant? I mean, nobody talks about taking the front door to Pussy City, or the mouth-door to Blowjobton-on-the-Moor, do they?

This is why porn companies need to hire professional copyeditors.

Are you listening, porn companies?