I'm Sensing A Narrative Here

So the other day -- don't ask me why, because there isn't any good answer -- I was looking up the Babysitter's Club books on Wikipedia.

Examine the titles of these books featuring New York girl Stacey, in order:

The Truth About Stacey
Boy-Crazy Stacey
Stacey's Mistake
Stacey's Emergency
Stacey's Choice

Hmmm... And after she had to make her tragic choice:

Stacey's Big Crush
Stacey and the Cheerleaders
Stacey's Lie
Stacey and the Bad Girls
Stacey's Secret Friend
Stacey's Movie

Is anyone else seeing a sad, but all-too-common narrative developing here? From being "boy-crazy" to making a "mistake", having an "emergency" then making a difficult "choice", I don't think it takes too much to fill-in the blanks, hm?

And afterwards, the inevitable downward spiral: Falling in with the popular kids, lying to your loved ones, hanging with the bad girls, having a "secret friend" you can't tell anyone about (heroin? A married man?) and then, finally, succumbing to the inevitable and making a movie... well, I think we all know what kind of movie Stacey made.

Sometimes I Amaze Even Myself

The next movie I want to make, as a follow-up to The Bi Apple?

Roller Der-Bi.

Oh yeah. I went there.

I haven't been updating lately, I know. There just hasn't been much going on to inspire me. I haven't done much at Viv's lately either. Honestly, I haven't been doing much at all lately outside of my usual grind - well, until yesterday and today, when I put in for a couple of small freelance gigs.

I haven't forgotten about you, readers. As soon as something strikes my fancy, or ignites my ire, you'll be the first to know.

In the meantime, congrats to Audacia Ray on her recent post-graduate degree, and the publication of her book. I've already bought my copy!

The Secret Life Of The Male Porn Star

Boy, it's been a while. And when I return, it isn't a substantive post, but rather just an amusing video.

Life is hard.

It Gets Tiresome

I don't know what kind of hard-on CSI: Miami has for the porn industry, but the moralistic preachiness is getting really, really tired.

Victory!

Who's house? Mikey's house.

Awwww yeah. Apparently, I don't just put the "icon" in "lexicon". I must also be the "man" in "portmanteau".

This Just In: Pornstars Are Human Beings!

One Fred Gonzales, a writer for the Miami Herald, went to Exxxotica (an adult industry convention) to find out just exactly how someone would go about dating a pornstar.

His shocking conclusion? Treat them like human beings. Yes, that's right, human beings. Hey, I was surprised too! From Fred's interview with Jessica Drake:

"It's probably a lot easier than guys would think because aside from the fact that we have sex on camera, we're pretty normal. We have our hobbies, like yoga, swimming and reading."

Whoa! Why didn't I think of it that way?

Gee Fred, I dunno. Maybe because you're a bigot?

Perhaps I'm being too harsh. The cure for bigotry is education, and Fred's article ('cutesy' asides aside) certainly casts a positive light on a much-maligned occupation.

Yeah, I know, prejudice against sex workers is nothing new. It irritates me, though, that there's so much ignorance there to dispel. I mean, can you imagine replacing "porn stars" in this article with, I don't know, podiatrists? Or Muslims? Or white women?

Oh, wait.

Sugasm #74

This Week’s Picks
History: Marlene on the Wall (http://thismuse.blogspot.com)
“3AM, showering, head, his hands soapy on my breasts, I’m thankful I’ve dropped weight, the water is warm and cool enough to feel like bed.”

Afternoon Debauchery (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Occasionally he’d push it further inside me, from where it had involuntarily escaped due to slickness and enthusiastic vibrations.”

Too Many Choices (http://bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com)
“We’d been naked most of the time since getting here on Friday, so I wasn’t surprised when I reached under her skirt and found that she wasn’t wearing any panties.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Circumcision? Bullshit. (http://sugarbank.com)

Editor’s Choice
Spanking Models Run For Charity, AKA Bums on the Run (http://adelehaze.com)

Click here for the rest of this week's Sugasm

And You Thought Crabs Were Uncomfortable...

Is this image sexy to you? Probably, if you like vagina (yes!), labial clamps (sometimes?) and spiders (NO!). But regardless of the picture's prurient merits, I've really got to know what kind of idiot lets someone stick a Chilean Rose Hair tarantula on her hoo-hah.

Would it bite? Probably not. Chilean Rose Hairs are actually fairly friendly, as tarantulas go. Unfortunately, they're also covered in Type III urticating hairs, which are "one of the primary defense mechanisms used by some tarantulas ... barbed hairs that cover the dorsal and posterior surface of the tarantula's abdomen".

OK, so the urticating hairs on a Rose Hair aren't terribly bad compared to the kinds you find on some other spiders, and don't typically bother humans too badly -- like a mild nettle sting. But then they typically don't wind up between a woman's nether lips, either. It would be like... have you ever accidentally touched yourself after chopping peppers or spilling hot sauce on your hands? Yeah. Like that. Screaming agony for hours and hours. Can you imagine a nettle sting on your most intimate of intimates?

And if she's allergic... oh God. That poor woman.

(Hey, can anyone help me track down the origin of that picture?)

Found here, via Sarah Hepola on Scanner. Credit to Jill for helping me ID the spider.

Putting The "Icon" In "Lexicon"

In addition to "Hobonanism", which is if course the act of masturbation performed by a homeless person, I'd also like to lay official claim to the word "hoboner", which is pretty self-explanatory, I feel.

Is "Hobonanism" A Word?

The right-wing Christian blogosphere is all abuzz with the shocking news that Sacramento's Public Library Authority voted to affirm the right of their libraries' patrons to access pornography on library computers. Now, in general, when forces friendly to the 1st Amendment triumph over the paternalistic, prudish people that would prohibit the proletariat's access to pornography (see what I did there?), I cheer. But this case... well, I'm still cheering, but it's a small, highly qualified sort of celebration.

Obviously a public library is designed to be a source of both educational and entertaining media, and I'd be lying if I said that in my misspent youth I didn't avail myself of some of the more explicit, salacious examples of that media. But I didn't, ahem, avail in the library. I did so at home, in private, where such behaviour typically belongs.

Listen, if someone wants to look at porn in a library (with headphones, if there's sound!), I have no problem with that -- so long as all they do is look. If they want to print it out or record it, take it home and avail, more power to them (hopefully they're availing to a legitimately purchased copy of The Bi Apple). But what if... what if they don't have a home?

Yes, that's right: While protecting our rights as adult citizens to access the full spectrum of media from a platform which we pay for with our tax dollars, the Sacramento Public Library Authority has also made their educational edifices a haven for masturbating hobos. Now look, I know that some of you might be very pleased by the thought of hobos pleasuring themselves, and I'm not going to judge you for doing so -- but I am saying it's wrong for hobos to manually pleasure themselves in a public library.

More seriously, this is a bit of a sticky (no pun intended) issue. Should adults be allowed to access pornography? Yes, absolutely. But the primary purpose of a public library is not to help its patrons get off, and I don't see an easy, cut-and-dry way of balancing the rights of the individual grown-up to look at whatever disgusting filth they desire with the library's stated purpose of maintaining a a safe, welcoming and comfortable environment for the public.

Hm. If only any professional librarians read this blog. I bet they'd have something insightful to say on the topic!

More on Bella

Dacia was kind enough to confirm for me that Bella does indeed have a b/g scene in Cum on My Tattoo 3, and pointed me to a trailer that provides graphic visual corroboration of that fact.