Friday, December 28, 2007

It Stings Slightly

Have you ever stumbled across something -- likely on the internet, but possibly in real life -- that so disturbed or disgusted you that it made you feel less human, as if part of your soul were whittled away?

When you work in the adult film industry for enough time, you come across things that will have that effect on you from time to time, but of course the more you see, the less things get to you. I used think that the last part of my soul died the day that I was required to enter "nasal cumshot1" into a database as a keyword search term and film descriptor. Since then, things have made me blink twice or wince a bit -- virtual unicorn rape-and-impregnation machines, Mythbusters slashfic and attendant artwork, the everpresent specter of granny porn -- but until very recently nothing had given me that wrenching feeling deep down inside wherein I realized too late that somehow, against all odds, I actually managed to retain a little bit of humanity that was even now being torn from me like the wings from a screaming butterfly.

But that all changed a couple of days ago, when I first laid eyes upon Fuck my Gut Butt. Yes, that's right, Fuck my Gut Butt.

Now I know what you're thinking, because it's what I was thinking: "What the hell is a gut butt?" Well, if someone is sufficiently obese then their bellybutton must necessarily be buried deep, hidden between and beneath rolls and folds of warm, enticing belly fat and... and...

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Mikey Mongol learned that he still had a bit of soul left and lost it, all in a split-second of horrible psyche-searing epiphany.

1HOW is that even remotely sexy? It's like... semen waterboarding. Not hot, people! Not hot!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I Vote Clown

Fark caught it before I did, but it's a question apt enough for me to repost: Jenna Jameson or Undead Clown?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Another One Bites The, Uh...

By now I'm sure you've heard that yet another Republican politician with an anti-gay voting record got caught in yet another extremely salacious gay sex scandal (complete with cross-dressing, porn shop hookups, &c. &c.). Here is the police report in PDF form.

What struck me: "Richard [the Republican politico] and ---- [his trick] ordered two bi-sexual pornography movies" on the hotel TV.

Dare we hope that one of them might have been The Bi Apple?

Friday, October 26, 2007

She Goes Down Like A (News) Anchor

A couple of folks have sent me this quiz, which tests one's ability to distinguish between pornstars and Fox News anchors. I don't know if it's very challenging to the population at large, but I found it really easy -- 10/10 in under 2 minutes.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

2257 Rules Unconstitutional!

Holy crap! It was a split decision, but even the dissenting judge thinks that the regs are unconsitutional -- just not irredeemably so.

Wow. I didn't see this coming, at least not so soon.

Monday, October 15, 2007

A View From The Outside

Here's a fascinating Slate essay by jurist Tim Wu on the current state of US obscenity law. It's involved and detailed, but one of the points which I glean from it is that Wu believes that the current administration's crackdown on porn production has no legs. I don't know if I believe that, though I hope it's true, but agree or not, it's still a great read.

Of course, not ten minutes after I post that link, a news story about these scumbags getting hit with interstate transportation of obscene materials charges crosses my RSS feed. Wu's point still holds -- I just thought it was an odd coincidence.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Food for Porn

Food for Porn is a canned food drive run by a shop that sells porn. It trades, as you might expect, a canned good for a porn flick, and it's an awesome idea.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Also...

I'm going to venture a predicion: That Bree Olson girl is going to go far. She and Sasha Grey are the most exciting new performers of the last year or so.

It's The Little Things That Bother Me

Let us consider the title Backdoor to Buttsville for a moment. Now, even if we ignore the illogic of there being a back door for an entire town, there's still this to chew on: If you're going to Buttsville, doesn't it logically follow that you will be taking the back door? Considering that, isn't the title awfully redundant? I mean, nobody talks about taking the front door to Pussy City, or the mouth-door to Blowjobton-on-the-Moor, do they?

This is why porn companies need to hire professional copyeditors.

Are you listening, porn companies?

Monday, August 27, 2007

Erotica Contest!

A quick note: I'm co-judging a (written) erotica contest over at Shay's. The details and specs are all over there, so take a look! There's a prize package and everything! Exclamation point!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Division of Labour

As most of you, the teeming throngs* of my readers, already know, I also blog every now and then over at The Sex Carnival, and sometimes I have trouble figuring out what should go here and what should go there, and whether I should crosspost. Is that shameless self-promotion? If so, is there anything wrong with that? And what do readers here want to see vs. readers there?

Anyway, I wrote a little something about a South American sex-based reality television show that probably takes things a step beyond what it ought over there, but some of you may want to read about it. The article itself is SFW, but the banner ads on that site tend not to be, so caveat lector.

* Where a throng roughly equals a dozen.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Two Items Gleaned From The NY Post

1) It's a very slow news day.

2) Every day, Jenna Jameson moves closer and closer to resembling a poorly-crafted inflatable sex doll of version of herself.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

But Would Fabio Pose For The Cover?

Oh man. While justly lionized for his defining work, the famous Life of Johnson, some of Boswell's earlier writing was strictly third-rate romance novel stuff. A first-person account of his tryst with an actress, written in a letter to a university chum:

I came softly into the room, and in a sweet delirium slipped into bed and was immediately clasped in her snowy arms and pressed to her milk-white busom. ... In a moment I felt myself animated with the strongest powers of love, and, from my dearest creature's kindness, had a most luscious feast. Proud of my godlike vigor, I soon resumed the noble game. ... Sobriety had preserved me from effeminacy and weakness, and my bounding blood beat quickly and high alarms. A more voluptuous night I never enjoyed. Five times was I fairly lost in supreme rapture. Louisa was madly fond of me; she declared I was a prodigy, and asked me if this was not extraordinary in human nature.

It seems our young Bozzie was rather full of himself, hm? Of course, it sounds like by the morning, Louise was a little full of him as well. *rimshot*

But wait, there's more. After coming down with (yet another) case of the clap after this little tryst, his breakup letter with dear Louise was just as remarkable. Here's just a taste:

I have been very bad, but I scorn to upbraid you. I think it below me. If you are not rendered callous by a long course of disguised wickedness, I should think the consideration of your deceit and baseness, your corruption of both body and mind, would be a very severe punishment. Call not that a misfortune which is a consequence of your own unworthiness.

Damn. Just... damn.

Both quotes are from Boswell's London Journal, 1762-1763 (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1950).

Plus Ca Change...

I toyed with her. She wondered at my size, and said if I ever took a girl's maidenhead, I would make her squeak.

The pillow talk, it never changes.

From Boswell's London Journal, 1762-1763 (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1950). Yes, that Boswell.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Apropos of nothing...

... this might be the dirtiest thing I've ever seen*.

* Except for that granny gangbang movie. Some things should just not be.

Monday, July 16, 2007

He Said, She Said

Well, I was going to post about the new 2257 regs that came out last week, but I think that my post over at Viv's linked to an article which did as decent a job as I could have, and has input by an actual lawyer, so instead I'm going to fan the flames of Porn Valley gossip instead.

Back on Friday, ill-loved porno yenta Luke Ford posted a letter that he had purportedly received from Bessi, formerly ultra-filthy* pornstar Bisexual Britni. In it, she described a life of oppression and abuse at the hands of her ex-, Dennis. It's an upsetting, tragically plausible tale.

But.

About a year ago, a West Coast friend of mine mentioned that he had been propositioned by a woman on a popular internet classifieds site in response to a picture of himself that he had posted. After assuaging my initial disbelief**, he told me that woman in question had mentioned that she was a pornstar, in an open relationship. He gave me the name that she had given him and after a little bit of digging, I confirmed to him that a woman with that name was better known in the porn world as, you guessed it, Bisexual Britni.

Now if Bessi-formerly-Britni is to be believed, she "never even SAW [her] emails", which would mean that it was probably abuser Dennis propositioning my friend and pretending to be Britni. I find that... creepy. But even if you accept Dennis arranging seedy anonymous hookups between Britni and strange men posting mask-wearing pictures of themselves on sleazy hookup sites, my friend also reports that he spoke to Britni on the phone, and she sounded distinctly female. In his own words:

My thought is that either A: Dennis does a much better job imitating a woman that you'd believe or B: she's exaggerating a bit. Mind you, I'd never take away from the horror of an abusive relationship, but ... at least a year ago she was more free to talk than [her letter to Luke] would lead you to believe.

Of course, thanks to the anonymizing power of the internet, any of all of this could be complete bupkus. The woman that emailed Luke might not be Britni. The person that emailed and spoke to my friend might not have been Britni***. Bessi-formerly-Britni could be lying. My friend could be lying. I could be lying. But hell, isn't that what internet gossip is all about?

* And I don't use that descriptor lightly.
** "A woman!?"
*** Though she did have the last name that Britni used, which may not prove anything, but definitely adds a soupcon of veracity to the tale.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Vote Zombie Reagan!

Monday evening, I had the privilege of attending a reading and QA session by Audacia Ray as she swung through town on her book tour. Also in attendance were Meg, recently of the late, lamented Tales of a Teacher (and Slut), and Antonio Rodickuez, one of the stars of The Bi Apple. It was nice to catch up with Antonio, who I hadn't seen since the shoot, and Meg and I and we had a lovely discussion about blogging our personal lives, and why she did it, but doesn't anymore, and I don't do it at all.

The reading itself was held in a bookstore that started out as a communist council, but has since shifted to an leftist-anarchist collective shop. Leftist propaganda and radical pamphlets abounded. I was, to steal a turn of phrase, a pilgrim in an unholy land*. That morning I was this close to wearing my Reagan T-shirt just to piss off the management (or whatever you call the people that run a socialist-anarchist collective), but eventually better sense got hold of me and I decided not to.

Sometimes I hate my better sense. It can be such a coward.

* No, I'm not a Republican. Yes, it's complicated.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Bubbles of Market Inefficiency

It is fact and accepted custom in the straight adult pornography industry that male performers make considerably less than female performers do. Generously, in a 1-on-1 scene, a guy can expect to make 60% of what his female co-star does, and often considerably less. Various factors affect this figure, of course. A marquee name will make more, and a total rookie less. Still, a massive inequity exists.

It's equally factual that being a male porn actor is much more difficult than than being female talent. Both sexes encounter some psychological hardships, of course, and there might be an argument to be made that women have more physically strenuous roles (depending on the scene), as men are unlikely to experience cervical bruising or anal fissures as a result of a shoot. Still, it's "wood failure" that's the bane of directors everywhere. People often ask me why so many old, ugly men keep showing up in movies over and over and over again, and the answer is simple: Relatively few men can do what it takes to make a scene work. Getting hard on set, staying that way and then popping on command is incredibly difficult.

Cordon bleu pastry chefs make more than burger flippers. Doctors make more than paramedics. So considering that there are more female straight porn performers than male straight porn performers out there by at least an order of magnitude, due to the disparities in the relative skill-based barriers to entry of each profession, why is it that female pornstars make so much more?

My guess? It's a combination of two factors. The first is simple Keynesian "sticky" pricing in action. In many cases, wages are slow to change with the vagaries of supply and demand. The market does adjust, but it adjusts slowly. In a small and incestuous community like the porn industry, where you have some male performers doing the same job for thirty-plus years, guys are just used to being paid less -- it's an artifact, a legacy of the past. The new guy only make two hundred a shoot because because the director paid the last new guy two hundred bucks, so why should he pay this new guy any more? Short of union action, it's going to take a while for pay to rise in a situation like that.

That leads us indirectly into the second factor: The fickle nature of porn consumers causes the supply-and-demand figures to skew in a way that may not be obvious at first blush. Consumers simply get bored with a girl they've seen over and over and over again, and thus the industry has an insatiable appetite for new female talent. Most of the time*, a woman that winds up on too many boxcovers saturates the market and loses her value and hireability. Male talent, on the other hand, are typically not the central attraction of a scene. Reduced to the status of anonymous meat puppets, often serving simply as a surrogate penis for the viewer's own fantasies, they usually exist on the fringes of the consumer's consciousness. Viewers don't get bored with them because they don't focus on them. Consequently, the demand for new male talent is relatively low compared to the demand for the latest fresh-off-the-bus teenage starlet.

To put it a bit more succinctly, while the number of male performances shot in a year is roughly equal to the number of female performances shot in a year**, the market allows each female performer to do less of those performances, and thus demands a much higher number of female performers to do those shoots. Consider: According to IAFD, porn workhorse Lee Stone has 1370 titles to his credit in his eight-year career, which means he does about 170 titles a year***. Inari Vachs, a successful pornstar by any reasonable measure, had an extra year to work with and did only 370 total. Even the ubiquitous Aurora Snow does less than half of Lee's number, with an average of about 70 movies per annum in her five years on the meat market.

Hmmm. Lee does 3-4 times as many movies as a full-time, successful female pornstar, and makes about 1/3 - 1/4 of what they can make on each shoot. Maybe the disparity isn't as big as I originally though.



*Exceptions are rife, of course, but consider how many Jennas, Janines, Shanes and Asias there are out there, and how many anonymous teen starlets have passed through the industry meat grinder after a few months on the job.

** Figure that girl-girl scenes balance out gangbangs, approximately.

*** Not accounting for compilations.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Mmmm... Contempt

Firstly, in an item totally unrelated to the subject line, congratulations to The Bi Apple for winning Best Straight Sex Scene at the 2007 Feminist Porn Awards, which are held annually in my hometown. Go us! Go Toronto!

Secondly, if I didn't think Audacia Ray was the bee's knees before (though I did!), I'd certainly think it now, for calling Suicidegirls the "Walmart of alt-porn" in her speech at C*lick me in Amsterdam. I haven't finished reading her book yet, but what I've read so far is cracking good stuff!

Friday, June 1, 2007

Not Again...

Well, it looks like Max Hardcore, scumbag cum laude, is being indicted on federal obscenity charges. I hate it when this happens.

Extreme pornographers like Max Hardcore or Rob Black function as the canaries in the figurative coal mine of the adult film industry. They are the first to be prosecuted and persecuted when the feds start to crack down. This puts people like me in an awkward position: On the one hand, I despise Max's work. His pornography is degrading, violent, angry and everything that the anti-porn nutcases say that all porn is. I find it personally repugnant and I hate that he and I work in the same industry.

On the other hand, Max isn't doing anything that ought to be illegal. He uses adult actresses who let him do what he wants to them in exchange for payment (and yes, I've heard all the stories as well, but until someone can prove in court that he illegally coerces girls into making his movies, I have to give him the benefit of the doubt). He sells his product to paying customers that presumably want to see the content that they have purchased. There's no unwilling victim here, no children despoiled or houses burnt down. He has a right to his freedom of expression, and my personal tastes shouldn't affect the limits of what he can do.

So people like me are forced into a bad spot, where they have to support people like Max despite their personal feelings because of the very real slippery slope that threatens us if Max and his ilk get taken down. Once the federal government decides to arbitrate what does and does not constitute illegal content, who knows where they're going to draw the line?

Faugh. I have to tolerate necessary evils, but I don't have to like it.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I'm Sensing A Narrative Here

So the other day -- don't ask me why, because there isn't any good answer -- I was looking up the Babysitter's Club books on Wikipedia.

Examine the titles of these books featuring New York girl Stacey, in order:

The Truth About Stacey
Boy-Crazy Stacey
Stacey's Mistake
Stacey's Emergency
Stacey's Choice

Hmmm... And after she had to make her tragic choice:

Stacey's Big Crush
Stacey and the Cheerleaders
Stacey's Lie
Stacey and the Bad Girls
Stacey's Secret Friend
Stacey's Movie

Is anyone else seeing a sad, but all-too-common narrative developing here? From being "boy-crazy" to making a "mistake", having an "emergency" then making a difficult "choice", I don't think it takes too much to fill-in the blanks, hm?

And afterwards, the inevitable downward spiral: Falling in with the popular kids, lying to your loved ones, hanging with the bad girls, having a "secret friend" you can't tell anyone about (heroin? A married man?) and then, finally, succumbing to the inevitable and making a movie... well, I think we all know what kind of movie Stacey made.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Sometimes I Amaze Even Myself

The next movie I want to make, as a follow-up to The Bi Apple?

Roller Der-Bi.

Oh yeah. I went there.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

I haven't been updating lately, I know. There just hasn't been much going on to inspire me. I haven't done much at Viv's lately either. Honestly, I haven't been doing much at all lately outside of my usual grind - well, until yesterday and today, when I put in for a couple of small freelance gigs.

I haven't forgotten about you, readers. As soon as something strikes my fancy, or ignites my ire, you'll be the first to know.

In the meantime, congrats to Audacia Ray on her recent post-graduate degree, and the publication of her book. I've already bought my copy!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The Secret Life Of The Male Porn Star

Boy, it's been a while. And when I return, it isn't a substantive post, but rather just an amusing video.

Life is hard.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

It Gets Tiresome

I don't know what kind of hard-on CSI: Miami has for the porn industry, but the moralistic preachiness is getting really, really tired.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Victory!

Who's house? Mikey's house.

Awwww yeah. Apparently, I don't just put the "icon" in "lexicon". I must also be the "man" in "portmanteau".

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

This Just In: Pornstars Are Human Beings!

One Fred Gonzales, a writer for the Miami Herald, went to Exxxotica (an adult industry convention) to find out just exactly how someone would go about dating a pornstar.

His shocking conclusion? Treat them like human beings. Yes, that's right, human beings. Hey, I was surprised too! From Fred's interview with Jessica Drake:

"It's probably a lot easier than guys would think because aside from the fact that we have sex on camera, we're pretty normal. We have our hobbies, like yoga, swimming and reading."

Whoa! Why didn't I think of it that way?

Gee Fred, I dunno. Maybe because you're a bigot?

Perhaps I'm being too harsh. The cure for bigotry is education, and Fred's article ('cutesy' asides aside) certainly casts a positive light on a much-maligned occupation.

Yeah, I know, prejudice against sex workers is nothing new. It irritates me, though, that there's so much ignorance there to dispel. I mean, can you imagine replacing "porn stars" in this article with, I don't know, podiatrists? Or Muslims? Or white women?

Oh, wait.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Sugasm #74

This Week’s Picks
History: Marlene on the Wall (http://thismuse.blogspot.com)
“3AM, showering, head, his hands soapy on my breasts, I’m thankful I’ve dropped weight, the water is warm and cool enough to feel like bed.”

Afternoon Debauchery (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Occasionally he’d push it further inside me, from where it had involuntarily escaped due to slickness and enthusiastic vibrations.”

Too Many Choices (http://bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com)
“We’d been naked most of the time since getting here on Friday, so I wasn’t surprised when I reached under her skirt and found that she wasn’t wearing any panties.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Circumcision? Bullshit. (http://sugarbank.com)

Editor’s Choice
Spanking Models Run For Charity, AKA Bums on the Run (http://adelehaze.com)

Click here for the rest of this week's Sugasm

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

And You Thought Crabs Were Uncomfortable...

Is this image sexy to you? Probably, if you like vagina (yes!), labial clamps (sometimes?) and spiders (NO!). But regardless of the picture's prurient merits, I've really got to know what kind of idiot lets someone stick a Chilean Rose Hair tarantula on her hoo-hah.

Would it bite? Probably not. Chilean Rose Hairs are actually fairly friendly, as tarantulas go. Unfortunately, they're also covered in Type III urticating hairs, which are "one of the primary defense mechanisms used by some tarantulas ... barbed hairs that cover the dorsal and posterior surface of the tarantula's abdomen".

OK, so the urticating hairs on a Rose Hair aren't terribly bad compared to the kinds you find on some other spiders, and don't typically bother humans too badly -- like a mild nettle sting. But then they typically don't wind up between a woman's nether lips, either. It would be like... have you ever accidentally touched yourself after chopping peppers or spilling hot sauce on your hands? Yeah. Like that. Screaming agony for hours and hours. Can you imagine a nettle sting on your most intimate of intimates?

And if she's allergic... oh God. That poor woman.

(Hey, can anyone help me track down the origin of that picture?)

Found here, via Sarah Hepola on Scanner. Credit to Jill for helping me ID the spider.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Putting The "Icon" In "Lexicon"

In addition to "Hobonanism", which is if course the act of masturbation performed by a homeless person, I'd also like to lay official claim to the word "hoboner", which is pretty self-explanatory, I feel.

Is "Hobonanism" A Word?

The right-wing Christian blogosphere is all abuzz with the shocking news that Sacramento's Public Library Authority voted to affirm the right of their libraries' patrons to access pornography on library computers. Now, in general, when forces friendly to the 1st Amendment triumph over the paternalistic, prudish people that would prohibit the proletariat's access to pornography (see what I did there?), I cheer. But this case... well, I'm still cheering, but it's a small, highly qualified sort of celebration.

Obviously a public library is designed to be a source of both educational and entertaining media, and I'd be lying if I said that in my misspent youth I didn't avail myself of some of the more explicit, salacious examples of that media. But I didn't, ahem, avail in the library. I did so at home, in private, where such behaviour typically belongs.

Listen, if someone wants to look at porn in a library (with headphones, if there's sound!), I have no problem with that -- so long as all they do is look. If they want to print it out or record it, take it home and avail, more power to them (hopefully they're availing to a legitimately purchased copy of The Bi Apple). But what if... what if they don't have a home?

Yes, that's right: While protecting our rights as adult citizens to access the full spectrum of media from a platform which we pay for with our tax dollars, the Sacramento Public Library Authority has also made their educational edifices a haven for masturbating hobos. Now look, I know that some of you might be very pleased by the thought of hobos pleasuring themselves, and I'm not going to judge you for doing so -- but I am saying it's wrong for hobos to manually pleasure themselves in a public library.

More seriously, this is a bit of a sticky (no pun intended) issue. Should adults be allowed to access pornography? Yes, absolutely. But the primary purpose of a public library is not to help its patrons get off, and I don't see an easy, cut-and-dry way of balancing the rights of the individual grown-up to look at whatever disgusting filth they desire with the library's stated purpose of maintaining a a safe, welcoming and comfortable environment for the public.

Hm. If only any professional librarians read this blog. I bet they'd have something insightful to say on the topic!

Friday, April 6, 2007

More on Bella

Dacia was kind enough to confirm for me that Bella does indeed have a b/g scene in Cum on My Tattoo 3, and pointed me to a trailer that provides graphic visual corroboration of that fact.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Cara Bella

I had a few drinks with Doug Sakmann (of Re-Penetrator and XXXorcist fame) after one of his screenings a couple of months ago, and he mentioned that our mutual friend Bella Vendetta was doing a girl/girl scene for Joanna Angel in Cum On My Tattoo 3. Well, I don't know if my memory is hazy (there was a lot of bourbon that night) or Doug was wrong or plans simply changed, but I read today in this AVN article that Cum On My Tattoo 3 will actually feature Bella's b/g (boy/girl, aka hetero sex) film debut!

Congrats to Bella, and I hope you have a great time at the release party this Saturday in NYC (at Luke and Leroy's, for you New Yorkers).

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

More Bi Apple Reviews!

Abby over at Eros Zine has posted a new review of the Bi Apple (and this one's a lot nicer than Gram's was), and Trixie, one of our performers, has posted some of her thoughts on the shooting experience.

Also, director and producer Audacia has updated her own slice of the web with some insights into production and distribution.

Hey, if any of my regular readers with blogs (all... ten to twenty of you) have got nothing better to do on a slow weeknight, I'd really love it if you would write a review of the movie. If you really can't afford to buy it, I could see about getting you a copy one way or another. Let me know!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The latest in Free Speech Coalition v. Gonzales

If you're involved in any way in the production of pornography, and you haven't read up on the recent happenings in the Free Speech Coalition's attempt to challenge 2257 record-keeping laws in the Colorado District Court (aka Free Speech Coalition v. Gonzales), you may want to do that now. IANAL, and reading this article is no substitute for good legal advice from someone who IAL, but it's in all of our best interests to keep current.

On its face, this recent ruling is a setback for the FSC's efforts, but Judge Walker Texas Ranger D. Miller did clarify certain previously-contentious parts of the new 2257 regulations. The highlights:


  • "A copy of the URL" means a simple link, not a copy of the site itself.

  • "A copy of the depiction" can be the DVD which is the final product, or a copy of the website on which is the final product, as applicable. Hmmm. Would a VHS work? I don't see why not. I could see some pornographers keeping their "copy of the depiction" on Betamax, just to spite the FBI. "You want to see it? Here you go. Hey, it's not our fault you don't have a Beta deck!"

  • The date that appears on the 2257 compliance statement can be the date of production, manufacture, publication, duplication, reproduction, or reissuance -- any one will do. That makes things easier for, say, compilation DVDs, or websites which archive lots of content.

  • And here's the biggie: While producers do have to keep copies of the IDs of performers on file, they're allowed to blot out the day and month of the performer's birthdate and the performer's SSN and home address on those copies. That's a huge deal -- otherwise, think of the potential for identity theft and stalking if and when those records are released to "secondary producers", including retail outlets -- and I think it'll make the new 2257 regs a lot more palatable to people.

Obviously, this case has a ways to go, so keep your ear to the ground. Staying informed protects yourself and all the rest of us, too.

ETA: The FSC has released a statement on this ruling, saying pretty much exactly what you'd expect, here.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Sugasm #72

This Week’s Picks
Big-Titted Muses (http://middleurge.blogspot.com)
“In the span of fifteen seconds, these two lovers instantly own the room, the camera, the cock.”

Make it happen (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Dip two strawberries in the chocolate, eat one and feed me the other.”

Water, Water Everywhere… (http://thismuse.blogspot.com)
“He pauses there, feeling the weight in his hands, then soaps my breasts, rubbing the nipples between his fingers and thumb.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Nathalie Portman is Naked (http://sugarbank.com)

Editor’s Choice
Control (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com)

As always, the rest of this week's Sugasm is here

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Blown Off (But Not That Way)

So I decided to take up Melissa Gira's challenge to ask someone that I want to kiss for a kiss, and what better person to ask than Melissa's co-editor (and Bi Apple cameo star) Lux Nightmare, of whose hot pink fishnets I had previously blogged rhapsodic here. I mean, why not? She's smart, she's hot, and she was conveniently online.

The result? Well, to spare my tender ego I won't quote the actual conversation (or Lux's hysterical laughter), but let's just say that I have some doubt that Ms. Nightmare and I will be locking lips any time soon. Not that hope doesn't spring eternal, but I suspect that my approach of "How 'bout a kiss?" might have lacked a certain... suaveness.

Hey, she said she couldn't spare me more than a minute, and I didn't want to waste her time with some fancy oblique approach. Brevity is the soul of wit, right?

Right?

Innervated

Looks like one of my (smaller) pieces over at Viv's got picked up by Scanner, which is a nerve.com blog. Neato!

It would have been extra nice if Erin Bradley had given me some name attribution in her post, but I'll take what I can get. Beggars, choosers, &c.

Monday, March 26, 2007

The Bi Apple gets reviewed!

Looks like the first full-length review of The Bi Apple has been posted by Gram Ponante at his eponymous blog.

For those of you just joining us, I was the production manager on this movie, which was directed by Audacia Ray.

Anyway, while Simone Valentino was indeed the film's protagonist, and Trixie did feature most prominently in the Behind the Scenes (I was robbed!), I personally think that Tucker stole every scene he was in.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Ms. Ray

I'm sure that this clip must turn some of you on? Yes? No?

I'm just picturing her making that exact noise in bed, without variation, no matter what it is her partner is doing.

Hey, I'm not a proud man. I'd hit that for 40 dollars a day. *rimshot*

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Key To Comedy Is Timing

Heh heh heh. I was just reading Lux Nightmare's latest post over at Sexerati. My favourite bit:

- If your partner is female, spoon her after sex, placing your hand on her lower abdomen. Patting gently, put your lips to her ear and ask, “Is that the baby we just made?”

That's sheer brilliance! I'm going to have to try it sometime. No, seriously. See, I've got a bizarre sense of humour, and sometimes I can't keep myself from inappropriate hilarity during intimate situations. I don't want to get too detailed, examples-wise, but suffice it to say that calling someone a "Friend of Barbaro" when they ask you to talk dirty to them may result in some unfortunate consequences.

Hey, it was the most degrading thing I could think of at the time. And after a few moments of stunned silence, she laughed too.

If I might add a suggestion to Lux's superlative list, a great way to start off an evening on the right wrong foot is to stand behind your intended companion in a crowded elevator and, just as the doors close, lean forward and whisper "You smell like prey". Make sure you say it just loud enough for everyone to hear.

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On a totally unrelated houseblogkeeping note I added A's Pursuit of Pleasure to the blogroll, and a Technorati link to the end of each post.

Another Interview!

Another(!) short interview with yours truly has been posted over at Viv's, part of her series on blogs and bloggers.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Real Amateur College Porn (But Not How You Think)

So last night I braved the ice and the wind and the frathouses overflowing with sloppy St. Patrick's Day drunks to escort college sexblogger Jessica Haralson* to iNtuitons' production of La Ronde, which is a cheery little story of syphilis and infidelity in turn-of-the-(last-)century Vienna. It's ten scenes long, each one a self-contained story that has at its core a sex scene. Don't worry -- I'm not here to review college theater (though if I may, I will say that the friend of mine whose performance prompted my attendance was easily the best actress in the cast -- her material was the most challenging and her performance, the most natural).

Instead, what struck me was the audience's reaction to the sex and nudity in each vignette. In some of the scenes, the sex was played for laughs, with comical soundtracks and exaggerated facial expressions and wild, bed-rattling gyrations. And the audience laughed. In some, the sex was perfunctory and awkward and brief. And the audience laughed. In some, the sex was played passionate and straight, with realistic moaning and grunting and thrusting and shifting. And the audience laughed. In some, the sex was definitely porn-inspired, what with nightstand cunnilingus and obscure, uncomfortable sexual positions. And the audience laughed. And of course, when the actor playing The Count dropped his briefs and let his tackle dangle, the audience laughed.

Some of the tittering can be attributed to the audience's relative naiveté -- UPenn is conservative as Ivy League schools go, and I daresay that there were more than a few folks in the audience who had never actually seen a naked man in the context of a performance before -- but not all of it. I realized that the reason why so many were laughing was not necessarily because of nervousness or embarrassment, but because, well, sex just looks silly.

I'll wager that a fairly high percentage of the people reading this blog have probably, at some time or another, experimented with videotaping or photographing themselves in flagranté. I know I certainly have. And if you're anything like me, it's really hard to watch the fruits of that particular labour, what with the grunting and groaning and funny facial expressions and awkward thrusts and jiggling and... ugh. No thank you. And that's why the audience was laughing at the simulated sex on stage. It was one part embarrassment, one part tittilation and one part the shameful realization that yes, I look and sound just that ridiculous when I do it.

So then I started to wonder: Just how do we make it look good? Or at least, if not good, then at least not laughable? And I realized that the answer was something that I've been telling people for a long time when they tell me that they're great in bed, so they'd be great in porn: Porn sex looks nothing like real sex. Nobody does reverse piledriver at home -- at least, not more than once, even if they manage to avoid serious injury. Porn blowjobs don't resemble real blowjobs, though I've met girls that haven't quite figured that out yet (hint: It's not an ice cream cone, ladies), and heaven help the guy that thinks that everything he needs to know about cunnilingus he learned watching Seymour Butts. Even the language of sex is different than the language of porn-sex. I'll admit that I like a little dirty talk in bed, but it takes a different level of suspension of disbelief entirely to buy into what you hear on the screen. In reality, after all, few and far between are the girls (or boys) that mean it when they scream things like "FUCK MY DIRTY TEEN SLUTHOLE, DADDY!"

Standard porn isn't really about sex and more than wuxia flicks are really about martial arts. It's about the idea of sex, the platonic ideal of that perfect, zipless fuck that looks nothing like actual sweaty, sticky monkey-fucking, jiggling and funny faces and all.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

* Her take on the evening here.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Items of Import

1) The Bi Apple is now available on streaming video from our good friends over at TLA Video. It's the entire movie! There's also a bonus sex scene from some other movie at Scene 6, and the entire Bi Apple behind-the-scenes feature (which features my hands and voice!) at Scene 7. You can rent the whole movie for a week for ten bucks, or buy some minutes and watch it at your leisure.

2) I've added Kiss and Tell Kate to the right sidebar. Also, shiny new Feedburner widgets.

3)Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Holiday Blues

You know, I was never one of those folks that boo-hoo-hooed being single on Valentine's Day. It never really bothered me.

Being single on Steak and a Blowjob Day, on the other hand, is intensely depressing.

Sugasm #70

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Monday, March 12, 2007

Ladies, Please... No.




Meet Amy Winehouse. She's probably my favorite new female vocalist of the last year. On the right is her two years ago, back when she was hot. On the left is Skeletor, who apparently killed Amy and is now wearing her skin.

Let's go over that again: On the right, a ridiculously hot woman with a voice like an Islay malt. On the left, a bunch of sticks wrapped in jaundiced leather.

Don't do it, ladies. Please. Don't.

Friday, March 9, 2007

More Exposure

Looks like my angry letter to the editor made it into the Village Voice's letters section back in late January, and I never noticed.

The letter was protesting the replacement of the sexy and talented Rachel Kramer Bussel's sex column with a poorly-written, very uninteresting column about stuff that I don't give a damn about.

They cut my letter down considerably and made it a touch less mean, but still, the gist is still there.

Buzz TV Get Wise

Wow! A recent post of mine over at Viv's blog was just featured as the lead story on Technorati's Buzz TV.

I'm internet famous!

Pity they didn't give me any name credit. Baby steps. Baby steps!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

GOPorn: Smut and the American Conservative

I just posted over at Viv's about Marine Cpl. Matt Sanchez, aka gay pornstar and escort Rod Majors (aka Pierre LaBranche). A homosexual in the Marines is hardly big news, even one with as storied a skin-flick career as Cpl. Sanchez, but this particular homosexual Marine is also a conservative media darling, appearing on Fox's Hannity & Colmes and O'Reilly Factor. Of course, now that he's been outed, this will likely change.

The story got me to thinking about the intersection of porn and politics here in the States. Specifically, why do we (or we, if you prefer) derive such satisfaction from seeing the Matt Sanchezes and Jeff Gannons and Ted Haggards exposed as something other than what the Family Values crowd wants them to be? I mean, yes, there is the visceral pleasure of seeing your foe embarassed and discombobulated and exposed as (at least in Ted Haggard's case) a hypocrite. But in the end, isn't using the fact that Matt Sanchez is a former gay escort and pornstar as an anti-Republican political tool ultimately counterproductive? If their gayness or sex-workerness is seen as a liability, won't that just drive any other red state gays or sex workers even deeper underground?

See, from our point of view it's easy to see that when we wag the finger at gay escort Republicans, it's the "Republican" descriptor that we most object to (and this coming from a guy that regularly wears a Ronald Reagan T-shirt in a totally non-ironic way -- the party ain't what it used to be). But to most folks, any criticism and disapproval will be attached immediately to the words "gay escort", regardless of our original intention.

It's simple to see the Republican Party as one large homogeneous mass of red state NASCAR dads that love Jeebus and hate the queers, but just like any other political party, most Republicans don't actually agree with the whole official party platform. I know I sure as hell didn't, back when I could still stomach being a GOP supporter. Many Republicans are even trying to work within the system to change things for the better. It's easy to call gay Republicans or right-wing pornographers hypocrites, but honestly, what do you do if you're a hardline neoconservative male who just happens to enjoy taking it up the ass from well-endowed gym bunnies? Joining the blue-state side would make you a much bigger hypocrite than signing up with the GOP, but if you come out, you're a liability to your political allies -- especially when the other side finds out. After all, they're just going to use your past predilections and peccadilloes as ammunition against the people you support.

When greeted with the news that hatemongering cunt Anne Coulter and her CPAC fan club (and I use the c-word with all of the approbation, hatred and negativity that the word can possibly contain in its most base and puerile sense) publically embraced a gay escort and pornstar, I think that instead of pointing and laughing, it would be a lot more useful to celebrate the fact that the neo-cons are finally loosening up and accepting elements of our society that they had previously hated and shunned.

Of course, that's not what they're doing. They were duped, and we can laugh at them for it on the inside. But publically, we should instead praise them for the tolerance that we wish they had. After all, if you say something enough, people will eventually start to believe it, and with enough time it becomes the truth.

Plus, I bet that would piss off those neo-con assholes even more.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Party Pictures

A few pictures of the Bi Apple release party have surfaced. Let me help you find them:

Nick McGlynn has some here.

Viv's are here.

Dacia's, of course.

And some videos on Fleshbot.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

The Bi Apple release party

Two things of note and concern to both you and I happened this weekend. In reverse-chronological order: I started this blog, and Audacia Ray and Bella Vendetta threw a release party for The Bi Apple.

In case you didn't know, I worked on The Bi Apple in the capacity of a production manager. What does that mean? You can read all about it in an interview with me over at Audacia's site. What else does that mean? It means that I got into the party for free, baby! Yeah!

What does this have to do with me starting my blog today? Well, I feel that a hallmark of any successful blog is a large and steady readership. The only way to attract readership is to get noticed, and if my experiences with the blog world have taught me anything so far, it's that a good way to get noticed is to relentlessly name-drop as often and as egregiously as possible. As a good portion of the sexblogosphere was present at last night's shindig, a party report gives me the perfect opportunity to do just that.

So: I arrived at the Pussycat Lounge at about 10PM with my pal Luke and a posse of his friends in tow. The super-hot Simone Valentino and Dacia were already hard at work signing copies of the movie. I got my copy signed promptly, and then much to my surprise a few people asked me to sign their covers as well. I wasn't expecting that, considering that I only appear in the special features, and even then mostly from the wrists down. I circulated a bit, secured a drink for myself and promptly ran into ReVay, our lesbian superheroine, and shortly thereafter the lovely and talented Lux Nightmare, who gave me a Sexerati pin which I wore proudly for the rest of the night. Later in the evening Lux showed me her very sexy Roller Derby shin-bruise. Why was it a sexy bruise? Because it was wearing hot pink fishnets, of course.

A little bit later Phil Forrest, who worked with me on the film as a PA, showed with his SO. Phil was wearing a heavy wool sweater and I think he stuck around for maybe half an hour before the heat drove him back out into the dark Manhattan night. Erin Siegal, another talented photographer, was also there. Erin is just about the best person on the planet with whom to share a hug, and was sporting a new (to me) brunette look. Other crew members that showed up: Santos, one of our other PAs, with a freshly-shaved head and Will, our behind-the-scenes camera guy. I said hello to Candida Royalle (proud winner of a silicone vibrator in one of the raffle drawings) and Rachel Kramer Bussel, and though I'm fairly sure neither one of them recognized me, I don't hold it against them. I've only met Candida once and Rachel maybe twice, and I'm sure they both meet so many people it all starts to blur together. And was that Melissa Gira that stopped me and complimented me on my Sexerati pin? I'm not really sure -- I only know her from the interwebs. It could have been her, though. Perhaps if I had had one less G&T, I could have made a more definite identification.

More NYC sex bloggers showed up a bit later. Viv was there, of course, and Lex and Les of the Naked Loft Party, and Jefferson, and I think I spotted Lolita Wolf there but I didn't get a chance to wade through the teeming throngs and say hello.

And when I say teeming, I do mean teeming. It was standing room only for a good while, both floors, especially when the stage shows started. There were lap dances, burlesque performances, girl/girl hot wax acts, flesh-hook suspensions and, of course, raffles. I won nothing in the raffles, though the contents of my gift bag were more fun than they had any right to be.

I ended up having to leave a little earlier than I would have liked -- I was crashing with some friends of mine that live in the city, and I didn't want to end up stumbling back to their apartment at 4 in the morning, waking them up with the buzzing of a doorbell and the smell of too much Bombay Sapphire wafting up from the street. I would have liked to stay longer but, in truth, I was pretty exhausted anyway, and I had foolishly booked my bus ticket back to Philly for an absurdly early morning hour.

And here I am.